Always A Mother, Regardless of Adoption

Today, I am pleased to introduce you to a Guest Post! The very first Guest Post to ever be posted on my blog to be precise and so I’d be greateful if everyone could be at least a little bit as excited as I am. I truly love this post, otherwise I would not feature it on my blog, it is truly heart touching and I hope you all enjoy it.

Things aren’t exactly what I always thought they would be. I didn’t expect to have a daughter at 21. I didn’t expect to be calling myself a birthmother instead of a mother. I mean, sure, I had imagined it, but I never once thought that it would be my reality one day. And I’ve always dreamed of being a mother, but I just thought I would raise my baby with my husband.

Adoption isn’t easy. Not from the birthmother’s side at least. And that’s the side that people don’t talk about. But it needs to be.

She’s pregnant with the child for nine months, delivers it, and then she signs away her rights as parent. Most times, she never sees the child again. The adoptions are closed – meaning there’s no contact between the birthmother and the child’s adoptive family.

Luckily, that’s not how it is for me. Mine is a semi-open adoption. So I don’t have direct access to my daughter’s family, but I can contact them through the adoption agency. I get to see pictures of her every once in a while. And hopefully I’ll get to visit her sometimes too.

I also had to opportunity to decide who would adopt her. I looked through so many profiles of prospective families. I read the letters they wrote and looked at all the pictures. It seemed like it would be so incredibly hard to choose who will raise your baby without even meeting them. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be. But it wasn’t.

I read their letter, looked at their pictures online, and I knew I wanted to see more. So I asked to see their full profile. I slowly flipped through all the pages, letting everything sink in. They just felt right. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was about them. I just simply knew that I absolutely wanted my precious baby girl to go to them. And she did.

Holding her at the hospital was so surreal. It felt like a dream. She was so quiet and beautiful, and I wanted to take her home with me. But I knew that I couldn’t. I couldn’t give her the life she deserved, the life I wanted for her. Going home with the family I had chosen was where she belonged, and that’s where she went.

I don’t have any regrets about what I did. It’s what was best for everyone. I gave a child to a couple who had been patiently waiting for years. Very few people can say that they’ve done that, but I can. And I’m proud of that.

I blog over at coffeetattoos.wordpress.com if you want to see more of my writing.

If you have questions about my posts or you would like to do a guest post, you can email me at coffeetattoos@gmail.com