Chubby

Two things happened to make me write this post. The first was a bad Tinder experience and the second was a YouTube upload. Let me explain…

I was talking to someone from Tinder who found my Facebook and had a little browse. That’s fine. Then he messaged me asking “I’m 100% not being rude but did you used to be chubby and then lose weight?” Not fine. I replied honestly that I’ve put on weight recently rather than it be the other way around. He then followed up with “its cause in your old pictures you look chubby whereas the recent ones are hot!” Straight away I didn’t like this. His comment implies that chubby is not hot when women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Out of curiosity, I asked him which picture it was and when he sent it to me I was truly heartbroken. I am not ‘chubby’ at all in the picture, however, I am wearing a jumper that is a few sizes too big. I explained this and then blocked him.

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I am not at all personally upset about his comment but what truly worries me is that there are girls out there who have, or currently, struggle with various eating disorders. I am not one of them but what if I had been? I know that his comment could be enough to cause a relapse or make me do something stupid. With this in mind, I stopped talking and slowly deleted him from various social media.

A few days later, my favourite YouTuber uploaded a highly unexpected video. Gabriella Lindley has been my favourite YouTuber since last summer where I found her videos to be extremely down to earth and relatable. She is a beautiful girl with a wonderful personality but she also had a big secret. Gabriella had undergone major weight loss surgeries over the last year. I had no idea and I’m sure none of her other viewers did either. I don’t know much about weight loss surgery but after hearing Gabriella’s story, watching her tears and seeing her scars I know that it takes a lot of determination and courage to go through them. Her video really made it hit home how this careless comment could affect someone. Everyone goes through things no matter who you are in this world and it’s not always noticeable. Gabriella admits in her video that she has been recovering from various surgeries almost all year while also daily vlogging and I couldn’t tell that she was in recovery at all.

Boys, and girls, need to stop making careless comments like this because it could really put someone down. If there is someone in your life – especially someone you don’t know or from a dating site – that throws around comments like this or makes you feel shit then block them and move on. You are better than that.

Over the past four months I have gone through a break up that has dramatically changed my life. In her video, Gabriella talks about how much of an issue comfort eating was for her. I had been comfort eating for four months and it was just beginning to show when this video was uploaded. This involved eating bars and bars of chocolate every day, eating more dessert than proper meals and stuffing my face with cake. My skin got really bad, the weight was just starting to go on, I was also so pale and tired looking all the time.  It wasn’t enough to make me hate my body or feel uncomfortable in my own skin but I knew it was important to stop. In the video, Gabriella talks about how there is always something you can do if you are unhappy with yourself and your surroundings. I took a look in the mirror at my acne riddled skin and told myself I could become happier and healthier if I wanted to. My fridge is now full of veggies which I eat daily, I have upped my water intake, and I have a daily vitamin. My monthly food shop did not include a single bar of chocolate, packet of biscuits or cake. It won’t last forever but I need to give my body the nutrients it needs.

I encourage everyone to watch Gabriella’s video below and spread some positivity on it. It is truly eye opening.

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